Lou's Feelers

10:07PM - YES I DID

Hey everyone!!!

Yep I did it!!! I know you won't believe it, but I did!! I bought a motorcycle!!! It was time and the right bike came to me.

In a couple of weeks I will be taking a riding course and then you better watch out!!! Momma's lock up your daughters!!!! Hahahahaha!!!

And I met someone new. She said I was beautiful!!! I told her she needed to get her eyes checked. She said very seriously, Don't do that. So we will be going out and enjoying each other. I know she likes it when I bite her neck, so I think we will get along great!!! She also likes bondage!!! But we will be going very slow, this time.

Have been really busy with all the things life has been throwing at me. I even think I found the right house for me and Molly. Time will tell. It's in a very nice neighborhood. The best part is that one of my closest friends will only be a block away!!!

Seems like I have met a lot of new friends lately. Maybe because I have been doing a lot of healing. It is time to put a lot of things behind me and not look back. Not even give some things a second thought.

Hope everyone enjoyed their Mother's day. Got to talk to my baby. And he's got some news for me that I'll write about later.

My love to everyone!!!!

Current mood: excited

8:49AM - This IS about Pam.....

You are a liar, no a filthy goddamned liar. The stories you have told about me are getting back to me now.

I am so glad you are gone from my life. There is NEVER going to be any kind of relationship between us. At this point, I wish I had never met you. Makes me wonder if anything you have ever said was true.

You are not a lady. I don't know how you sleep at night.

I have never lied about you. I have never made up stories.

3:34PM - Life Cycle...

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, the you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work forty years until your young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for high school.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then....

You spend nine months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa- like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger living quarters every day, and then you finish off as an orgasm!

I rest my case!

3:57AM - Neighbors....

On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there's a small
forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while
the other half belongs to a Tennessee man.

One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee
man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to
his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor.

"There's one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the
forest."

"How do you know it's one of *our* wolves?" the Kentucky
farmer asked.

"Well," the Tennessee man replied, "he's already chewed off
three of his legs and he's still trapped."

2:55PM - Did it...

I asked someone to an AA Valentine's dinner and speakers meeting. She said Yes!! I think it will be fun to go out again and enjoy another's company. We have a lot in common and will have a lot to talk about.

Went to church and of course the sermon was just for me. It was about the love chapter, in 1 Corinthians. I love those verses, even though I am not very good at them. I am doing my best to be kinder in my words.

A friend told me that I hurt her with my joking. For that I am sorry. I never intended to do that. I know I can be very sarcastic, and am trying to stop. I never meant those words, not even in my wildest dreams. But I don't stop and think how they can be received. So I am sorry.

Got my driver's license back. Got 7 hrs of CS done. Sat with a friend saturday night and talked. It was good to sit and listen. I enjoyed the time.

Am at work now. And have a busy week ahead of me. Getting used to these new hours is draining, but I will survive. I always do. I always land on my feet. Something really hard for a bull to do, btw.

Hope everyone has enough. I hope everyone is a cracked pot. My love to you all. But most importantly, thank you for being my friend.

11:30PM - I miss.....

.....those times we worked side by side to clean apartments.

10:03AM - Pancakes

~ Making Pancakes ~

Six -year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor.

He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.

Brandon was covered with flour a and get ting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad.

He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove and he didn't know how the stove worked! Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky.

And just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him.

Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, get ting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process!

That's how God deals with us. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky, or
we insult a friend, or we can't stand our job, or our health goes sour.

Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do. That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him.

But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes" for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...

I was thinking and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that need rekindling, or three words needing to be said, sometimes, "I love you" can heal and bless!
Remind everyone of your friends and family that you love them.
Even if you think they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words, a smile, and a reminder like this can do.

Just in case I haven't told you lately...
" I LOVE YA! "
Please pass some of this love on to others....suppose one morning you were called to God; do all your friends and family know you love them?

Send this to everyone you love, and send it back to the person who sent it to you. And never stop
"Making Pancakes."

5:40PM - Stuff....to think about

I was invited to a conference this summer. It is called Gender Oddessy 2007. I have had some thoughts about this subject and am looking forward to going. Maybe someone there can help me with questions I have always had. Maybe someone will take the time to explasin things to me. And who knows, maybe I'll even change my views.

Was also asked to volunteer some time. I will be getting the details later next week. Sounds like a lot of fun. I can't wait.

2:50PM

Went to the doctors today. She is trying me out on a new med for my back pain and sleep problems. I have to go back in 6 weeks. Hopefully I will have gotten better.

It is nice to have fridays and saturdays off. Atleast then I can schedule dr visits. This lady walks on water.

Got some plans to visit friends tomorrow. Should be interesting.

Nothing else new. Glad things are quiet and peaceful. This is something I have definately missed. No ups and downs and crisis.

Molly is doing well. She gets along with the other dogs. She has calmed down sooooo much. Guess it's the fresh air and running room.

6:00AM - Here's mine

9:31AM - Religion, on a sunday.....

Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in
central Louisiana, was an older, single gentleman, who
was born and raised a Baptist, living in South
Louisiana.

Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his
outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. Now, all of
Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic...and since it was
Lent, they were forbidden eating meat on Fridays.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks
was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful
that they finally talked to their priest.

The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that
Boudreaux convert to Catholicism.

After several classes and much study, Boudreaux
attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water
over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and
raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."

Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until
Friday night arrived, and the wo
nderful aroma of
grilled venison filled the neighborhood.

The priest was called immediately by the neighbors
and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a
rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in
amazement and watched.

There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of
water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling
meat, and chanted:
"You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer,
but now you is a catfish."

12:47PM - Stuff

a didn't come to work today. she let me drive the van.
wonder what i will find when i get home?? c wasn't home last night. ANd that makes her crazy.

i want everyone to know, i have had my soul touched to the very core by a beautiful, sexy, desireable, strong, precious, intelligent, loving, intense, creative woman last night.

i love her ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss much.

And she is single!!! Even better!!!

7:18AM - Gonna be a looooong day

Found out I was just left here and no one was going to come and get me. Good thing I got tired and started walking. Who knows when I would've gotten there if I hadn't.

Got to go and visit my favorite Femme. She was just what the doctor ordered!! She soothed my weary soul, stroked my ego a bit, and pretty much calmed me down. This was probably the first time I evr really let someone into the dark recesses of my mind. And I lived to tell about it. I am beginning to express my needs better and can actually ask for what I want!!! WHooo Hooo for me!!!

I wanted to stay the night, but I just couldn't get away from the nightmares. I'm sure I was restless, but She was a real Lady and didn't say anything. I felt bad because I know She needs Her sleep, probably more than I do. I live on about four hours a night, sometimes less.

Even got to talk to a sexy Lady on the phone. Wow!! How lucky was I??? Extremely lucky, in my humble opinion.

So, I left. I felt really guilty for leaving Her alone. I don't get to see Her as much as I want and need. But I take every chance I can.

I guess part of me wasn't surprised to see that he wasn't there, at 1:30am. he hadn't been there since 5:30am the day before. So, now that makes it over 24 hrs he's been gone again. When I woke her up this morning, she said she'd give me a ride, I was deeply saddened. she was laying in bed with her cell phone between her breasts, close to her heart--waiting for him to call. she said I could take the van to work. My heart cried. she looked so helpless and lost. The only thing I could do is give her a Lou gentle hug and kiss her cheek and say I'm sorry. I told her she knows where I am and to call if she needs to. she depends on him so much. I have had to watch a friend head toward a mental break down and I can't do a thing, except catch her when she falls. It saddens me to see someones heart crushed into a million pieces and laying on the floor.

All I can do is give her emotional support, and of course, pray for her. I've talked so much to God lately that I have a direct line into His/Her office---a purple phone, if you will.

My friends, please pray for her. I suggested she try and get into counseling, umpteen times this last 30 days. she is making herself sick, by not taking her meds, nor eating, nor sleeping, nor taking care of her kids.

Will post more later.

1:18PM - Wonder what drama today

Wonder what drama is in store for me when I get home. The lady I work with, left work early because of something happening. I also live with her. She wouldn't tell me what was going on. I hate this shit. Why can't breeders be normal people?? Why do they love drama so much.

I have been worried about what is going to happen. And trying to divert my mind, especially since I have a lot of questions.

She is also my ride home. And why can't they just get along???

6:17AM - I still got it!!

Went to a dance New Year's Eve. I had such a good time!! It was the first time in a very long time that I was sober, for ringing in the new year. I danced with several different people. Danced the night away!! I am usually not much of a dancer, as when people watch me dance they call 911, cause they think I am having a seizure. That night I didn't really care.

Spent the night at a friends house. Couldn't find a ride home, so I walked. It is a 30+ mile walk. I didn't have exact change for the bus, and when I did have exact change, there was no bus!! So I took it as a sign.

One guy stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride. I said I don't know you. He said I'm honest, you can trust me. And I thought, yeah if you have to say that, then there is going to be trouble!! So I said no thanks, besides I live in Federal Way. He said, that's a long way, sure you don't want a ride? I said, thanks for the offer, but no. Then he asked if I get high!!! I thought, well, I must still have what young men want!! Too bad I am a Lesbian!! LOL

It started raining when I left the friends house, and thank God it quit after a few miles. Then started up again, just this side of FW.

When I was walking across the bridge, I thought you know this isn't very protected, people could jump. And on Highway 509, I thought the same things as I crossed over several high overramps. It was a turning point in my life. I think there are opportunities to exit this life. Last night was one for me.

I was tired of walking, tired of waiting for my truck, tired of waiting for everything to start being right again. I had thoughts of my head being squashed on the road below, not a pretty sight, by any means.

The only thing that stopped me was my fear of heights. Thought about my body bouncing off the railroad cars, also not a pretty sight.

I think I left the friends between 6:30 and 7pm. Got home around 2am. Was too late to call my friend, and I don't have long distance. I couldn't even get on the computer. Oh well, things worked out.

Got 2 hours sleep before I had to get up and go to work this morning. Spent half that time with charlie horses in my calves.

All in all, I enjoyed the walk. Gave me some time to spend with myself, a getting to know you time. I have missed that.

Hope everyone's new year is filled with lots of love and laughter!!!

5:18PM

In 2007, lou_goddess resolves to...

Admit my true feelings to mela_4_me.
Pay for my books on time.
Give up key chains.
Be nicer to bayer.
Take nugirlontheblok canoeing.
Learn to play the bdsm.

Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

2:19PM

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In the year 2007 I resolve to:<br>Shave every hair on my body.</p>
<p style="font-size14px;padding:0;margin:5px 0 5px 0;text-align:center;">
<a href="http://resolution.geek-foo.net" style="text-decoration:none;color:red;">Get your resolution here.
</a></p></td></tr></table>

12:53PM - Happy New Year

To all my lj friends, Hope you have a happy, safe and fun New Year!! The upcoming year has many possibilities for me, as well as changes. Am looking forward to the new challenges of finding a new job and place to live. I think I am also looking forward to some personal changes as well. But you know what?? Everything is going to be okay. I landed on my feet and continue living each day. Hope everyone lands on their feet. 

I won't be on the computer much,  as the people I live with, like being able to control me and what I do. Have to take the power out of their hands and put it back in mine!! 

Have a safe New Years and look forward to a new year filled with all kinds of possibilities!!! Watch out, Lou is on the loose!!

12:09PM

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In the year 2007 I resolve to:<br>Quit making the same damn mistakes in my life!</p>
<p style="font-size14px;padding:0;margin:5px 0 5px 0;text-align:center;">
<a href="http://resolution.geek-foo.net" style="text-decoration:none;color:red;">Get your resolution here.
</a></p></td></tr></table>

11:49AM - Need some help from my female friends

What I would like to know is this....What is your favorite romantic movie and why.  Or if there is no movie then book or story. I need some ideas on how to be romantic, for my new Lady. My ideas just aren't cutting it, or rather, my romance skills are in need of some shining. Please help me out. Or even tell me what exactly does make a romantic evening for you. What can a man or woman do to show you that you are special?? 

I am an old lady and haven't really gone out and dated in a very long time. I am out of date, as I am sure my clothes are atrocious. My sense of matching colors is bad too. Althought I did learn, that stripes and flowers don't go together---but I swear I looked good, I SWEAR!!

Any help would be much appreciated.